Sexual Assault

What to do if you have been sexually assaulted?

• If still in a dangerous place, get out if possible, and call police on 111.

• Tell an adult that you can trust. This can be your mum or dad, a teacher, a friend’s parent, a counsellor or social worker. If unsafe in a public place, go into a shop and ask for help, or ask an adult who looks safe.

• Phone one of the helplines listed below

• Tell a friend who seems sensible.

• Definitely tell somebody safe. You are not going to get in trouble.

  
  

What to do if your child tells you about a sexual assault on them

• Do not have a big reaction! If you are really calm, it will help reassure them that it is not a terrible thing, and that you can be calm enough to support them.

• It is important that they have choices about what to do. Sexual assault involves being unable to make a choice, and having no say in what happens next can be further traumatising.

• If it is extremely recent, contacting police may enable forensic evidence to be collected, which can help in any subsequent prosecution. Any medical checks are done by specially trained doctors, no physical examinations are done by police officers.  If not contacting police immediately, placing underwear in a clean plastic sealable bag may be sensible, if the child or young person is considering reporting it later.

• Thank your young person for telling you. Do not ask questions, but just listen to what they tell you, and acknowledge their distress. (If you ask too many questions it can affect any evidential interview later. It can be useful to write down specific things they say though, and keep that in a safe place).

• Consider contacting a support organisation (see below)

• Do not be angry at your child for getting into a vulnerable situation. Offenders are skilful at creating situations where they can offend, and take advantage of the naivety of young people. It is not the child’s fault. Often parents are upset and distressed themselves. Try to stick with being a supportive and caring figure, it’s the best you can do at this point.

For young people

Sexual assaults and sexual offending is an ongoing problem in New Zealand, with children and adolescents often targeted via online grooming, and abusers who often appear to be friends before they become coercive or abusive. Sexual offending can include a range of things including things done to another, as well as persuading a young person to perform acts that are sexual or sexually provocative. Online offenders may try and get nude pictures of a young person, and then use these to threaten you. If this has happened and is now a problem, please tell an adult you can trust and who will support you. If this has not happened yet, great: Please do not share nude pictures of yourself online or with friends!!!

If you are a child or adolescent who has been sexually assaulted, or have been caught in a situation which feels unsafe or generally sexually yuck, please tell a safe adult, or ring one of the helplines given below. You will not get in trouble for reporting what has been happening.

If you are unsafe NOW, call 111 and tell police what is happening. If you have a safe place you can go, go there NOW. 

All views expressed in this information sheet are those of the author, however based on broad research and clinical experience. Any feedback may be directed to the author: Steve Williams, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Director: C&A Hub.

This version: © August 2023.